celebrate first and then re focus

I have been reminded this week that its very easy to miss out on the celebrating of small achievements because of the urge to rush on to the next challenge.

In a meeting where a group of business people were reviewing data about how many clients had accessed which services it was clear to me that the numbers were very good. In each area more people had accessed a service than in 2008 but somehow the discussion was not about how well everyone had done in 2009 but more about how to build on these numbers in 2010.

Of course we need to re focus on the next challenge but to do that almost without a breath is a pity. If we just take a few minutes to enjoy reaching the first target, to fel the achievement ourselves .... wouldn't that be better for our health and happiness. And I think it would also make us work harder as we head into the next challenge

Learning from the gas fitter

Last week I had a new boiler fitted in my house and during the somewhat traumatic experience I was reminded of some useful learning experiences.

The people who came to fit the boiler, a gas fitter, a plumber and an electrician clearly fitted such boilers more or less every day. They kept telling me everything was very straightforward and there wasn't anything to worry about. Even when they made a hole in my kitchen ceiling, that wasn't to worry about and the leak ? No nothing to worry about either.

The lesson here of course is that telling people something is easy .... when to them it looks difficult is completely pointless. More than that, it can make a difficult situation much worse. I was furious that I had a hole in my ceiling and would have liked an acknowledgement that this was a problem which needed solving ..... not something to sweep under the carpet.

And so it is for coaching. If a client thinks something will be difficult they need to know they can break it down into do ables, they can take their time and that I'm here to support them at each step on their journey.

The second lesson was about asking the right questions. I've been given a very clever thermostat timer gadget which is now working well. However its taken a week because I wasn't asking the right questions. The electircian did answer all the questions I asked but as I wasn't framing them well the information wasn't helpful.

And likewise in coaching. A great coach will frame questions so as to pinpoint exactly what it is that will help the client move forward. some questions will be big open ended requests for free thinking, some will be smaller with a clear focus to provide a hand hold on the climb.

so now my centrsl heating is working efficiently and I learnt a lot from the gas fitter.

specify happiness

I was at an event yesterday where a group of people were establishing goals for themselves at work. Some big targets had already been set by their organisation so this was considering how to operate within those.

I proposed that we specified "more happiness, more often, at work" and was taken aback when this was received with nervous giggles .... not from everyone of course but some people in the room were obviously a bit unconfortable with the idea.

Nevertheless discussion followed and before too long suggestions were made about how some things might be changed to create more happiness.

We could have addressed the same issues by considering what annoys us at work or what causes stress but I think that would have led to us thinking about the negatives and possibly getting stuck in in a group moan.

As it was the focus was on positive change; on accepting that things in our working lives don't always bring happiness but more happiness is usually within reach. ..... and an example of such a change ?

Ensuring that the right people are doing the right things at the right time .......

Avoid either or thinking

Another problem in the same areas as big goals or little goals is facing too many options or too much choice.

Sometimes when people start coaching with me at the next level they feel as if their way forward is completely blocked. Once they've created some small changes and begun to feel more of their own personal power, the challenge changes as they realise that there are many possible ways forward. Too much choice can be as difficult to manage as feeling there's no choce at all.

One of the problems with too much choice is feeling that if you choose A, B may turn out to be the best option after all. Sometimes this is a realistic awareness and sometimes its not. I think it helps to avoid "either - or" thinking; as in, " well I can either do this or I can do that."

Often we can feel better if we think, "I'd like to do this first but I could the do that second and that third." Or even, " I can do this and I can do that as well."

Its changing the way we think that can change the way we view the options available to us and that's a good start to any life changing journey.